Are You There Jayna? It’s Me, God.
Posted By jayna on July 29, 2008
It may just be me coping, but I can’t help but keep saying that I knew this was going to happen. I knew I should have made the husband keep his mouth shut. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten all excited and bought that damn shirt.
I knew damn well it was too early for all that.
And yet, we still dove in head first.
It turned into a belly flop though.
On Friday, I started getting concerned, with a little spotting. Early Saturday morning was spent panicking alone while everyone slept, knowing that bleeding that much was very bad. The rest of the house woke up, phone calls were made, decisions were made and the drive home was begun. Ohio to Georgia was spent on hold attempting to get in touch with a nurse, sleeping, and curled up in a ball while the husband valiantly drove all 800 miles. The kid was an angel, content to watch Nemo and Ariel and read her books. Sunday was full of more time on hold attempting to get a nurse, and tons of time on the couch.
This morning I was finally able to get a real live person and an appointment. After a three ring circus and jumping through a handful of hoops, it was confirmed that I did indeed miscarry over the weekend.
Mentally, I think I’m doing okay. It doesn’t help that every person and their sister is pregnant lately, but that’s just something I’m going to have to get over. Physically though, good lord, I feel like I’ve been run over by fifteen trucks. I never imagined this would knock you on your ass so hard.
A small, morbid light in the situation is a little humor. Provided by none other than my own mother.
“This is probably just God telling you that you need to gain weight before you get pregnant.”
Thank you, Mom, for adding another inappropriate comment to the books.
Oh, honey. I am so very, truly sorry. I don't have the words for you. Just hug E. Hard. *Kisses*
I'm so sorry for your loss.
But thank you for sharing! Your honesty (and humour!) continues to bring me back to your blog, and in this case in particular, your honesty will help many women going through the same emotional time.
Aw, hon. I am sending you tons of hugs and love. And sending extra energy to deflect any other inappropriate commentary that comes your way. Hugs.
So sorry to hear this…I hope that Mac truck feeling dissapears soon!
Ah, mothers! Aren't they great!
Oh, Jayna, I'm so, so sorry.
God's way of telling you to gain weight… sheesh…
Oh, Jayna, those were the words I was hoping I would never read and that you would never have to write. I'm very sorry.
*hugs*
I'm available, btw, if you need someone to drive to OH and drop-kick your Mom. Just sayin'.
Oh wow. I am so very sorry. I can't imagine that is an easy thing to cope with.
Oh Jayna i'm so sorry….and you are right…it really does feel like being hit by a truck….take it easy i'll be thinking of you
Oh sweetie, we are thinking of you and sending you all of our love and prayers, and added virtual hugs.
Hey there. I'm a new reader and, as inopportune as it is to delurk today, I just really wanted to send some hugs and love your way.
Oh, Jayna, I'm so sorry. I have no words. I'm so, so sorry.
*hugs*
Also delurking. I don't really have anything terribly pithy to add, just wanted to say I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Awww honey. Just came back to read this news. So very sorry.