Oh Sleep, How I Miss You!
Posted By jayna on August 30, 2010
Two years ago, when I was still in that happy state of joyous shock that comes with a pregnancy immediately following a miscarriage, I would have scoffed at any possible negatives that could come with my second child. It was sunshine! And rainbows! Yay!
Even after months of never ending sickness, heartburn, nerve pain and every other pregnancy ailment, I still wouldn’t have believed it would be tough.
I’m tough. I’ve got this. One was a piece of cake, how hard could two be?
MJ burst onto the scene and flipped our worlds upside down. More demanding than E ever was, she quickly taught us that life was going to revolve around her. Baby’s way or no way. Which, as a newborn, is totally acceptable. Expected, even. In those first few months, I clung to my naivety and firmly believed that it was going to get better. It had to.
The months rolled by. Every once in a while, I complained. On here, to the husband, to the grandparents, to anyone else that would listen. Well meaning strangers would ask, and offer up their solutions to fix my problems. The months kept rolling by and finally, I lost my rose colored glasses and realized that – holy hell – this. is. hard.
I have not slept longer than 3 hours in a row in 16 months.
My child – my lovely, adorable, second child – does not sleep all night. Or even part of the night. She fusses, she cries, she sits up and is wide awake. Like clockwork. Every. Single. Night. It doesn’t matter what we try, who puts her to sleep, how long we let her fuss, how full her stomach is, how many pacifiers/stuffies/blankets she has . . . the kid simply needs to be physically put back to sleep by us every time. I’m too soft hearted to listen to her sob uncontrollably to the point of vomiting (as she did the one time we let her cry it out for 15 minutes) and I’m a puddle of unresolve when it comes weaning her (this is me shamefully admitting to being a complete pushover and still allowing that middle of the night session).
Sixteen months.
I am exhausted.
And I now would like to go back and kick that naive version of myself in the pants and tell her to get some damn sleep while she still could.
We finally got to sleep through the night when Giggles got in a toddler bed. Why? Because she would sneak into our room and go back to bed.
((hugs)) and rest mama!
I think Mama needs to check into a hotel for a night while Dad takes over night duty one weekend. Many, many hugs, hon!
Oh, you poor thing. I’ve BTDT. My first child did not sleep any sort of reasonable hours in a row until he was over three and at 8.5 he still occasionally has bad nights.
Are you opposed to sleeping with her? At 18 months, I gave up and started sleeping in double bed with my son. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it did get me more sleep and kept me a little more sane. (Oh, and night weaning did not equal more sleep here.) Over the next few years, I slowly stopped sleeping in his bed and we managed to get wakeups down to once or twice a night with only needing a moment of my time each time.
So, it does get better. Until then, hang in there. (And lest you think my parenting was the cause, my second child was parented the exact same way and he’s a sleeping rockstar. It’s all about personality…)
She has mostly slept with me for this entire time . . . not for lack of trying though. If was great when she was little and saved those few precious minutes by not having to go and get her. She has become a terribly violent sleeper though, and absolutely must lay sideways across the top of the bed, pummeling the husband or I with her feet all night. We’ve even completely given in and the husband slept in the guest bed . . . but I still get beat up all night. And, she still wakes just as much.
So, we’ve been there, done that and are working on one last effort to get her in her own bed. We’ll see.
I agree with the above. My daughter slept with me til she was two and still didnt sleep all night til she was about 3.5, after she went into her own bed after 2 she would wake up for a drink. She is almost 8.5 now and goes to bed at 8/9 and up between 5/7am. And most time insists I get up too even though she is self sufficient.
I cant wait til she wants to sleep until Noon in her teen years..I smell revenge ;)
Good luck!