How To Add Just A Little Bit More Stress In Life
Posted By jayna on May 19, 2011
1. Find out you’re moving. Within weeks. Less than four, preferably.
2. Start to organize and go through your home, in a leisurely fashion. After all, a month is an eternity when it comes to moving.
3. Realize that a 10 day family vacation falls right in the middle of the month. Start outlining a plan to keep vacation items separate. Continue with leisurely sorting of closets.
4. Begin to plan a garage sale for those few items you don’t want to take with you. Turn it into a neighborhood sale, taking responsibility for all aspects.
5. Take a house-hunting trip, preparing to rent a comparable home to what you’re in now.
6.Buy a house. That night.
7. Return home giddy over the financial good fortune that buying a house will bring over the next year.
8. Get back to sorting and beginning to pack.
9. Realize that this future home will be ONE THOUSAND SQUARE FEET LESS than your current home.
10. Panic.
11. A lot.
12. As you say goodbye to your husband. Since he is now working in the new location and will only be home on the weekends.
13. Begin hauling furniture, toys, clothes, dishes, art, cats, books, children and everything else that has no sentimental value, to the garage.
14. Upgrade the advertised garage sale to OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING OUR LIVING SPACE IN HALF AND EVERYTHING HAS TO GO!!!
15. Sort, clean, tag and set up all your frivolous possessions in your one-car garage. While it rains. And your stuck-indoors children stand in the doorway attempting to smuggle every toy back into the house.
16. Advertise again, on every possible outlet, that OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING OUR LIVING SPACE IN HALF AND EVERYTHING HAS TO GO!!!
17. Begin fielding emails about said moving sale.
18.Eventually respond to each absurd request with something along the likes of: “If I wanted to spend the time taking pictures of X-ITEM and describing it great detail with a set price, would I really have bothered about a garage sale? No, I will not hold the item for you. No, I will not send you pictures. And no, I am not interested in trading it for your broken 1985 TV or rusted out ’93 Cavalier.”
19. Consider throwing the last of the unpriced items in a giant pile with a $1 sign over it.
20. Find yourself sitting on the garage steps at midnight, fantasizing about that family vacation. A lot.
Oooohh….you bought a house? Thats quite exciting! Congratulations! I hope the rest of it all goes smoothly…